So… confession time.

Sometimes I find it comforting to pick up my kids’ toys.

Like, legit calming.
I’ll be in the lounge and just… start gathering cups. Fold a towel. Pick up a toy that’s been living rent-free in the hallway for three days.
No one asked me to.
No one even noticed.
But it’s a rhythm my body knows. And honestly? Sometimes it feels good.

And that’s where it gets complicated.

Because I want my kids to take responsibility. I do teach them to clean up. They can do it – and often, they do a great job (not quite to my standard but hey small wins).

But I still catch myself just doing it anyway.
Not because I don’t trust them… but because it’s faster. Easier. Quieter.
Because it’s a habit.
Because I’m already heading to the kitchen.
Because maybe (just maybe) it makes me feel a little bit useful. A little bit in control. A little bit needed.

But then… am I actually teaching them to be capable humans?
Or am I accidentally sending the message:
“Don’t worry. Mum will always swoop in and do it for you.”

The Line Between Helping and Enabling

Here’s the thing I’m sitting with:
Just because I can do it all… doesn’t mean I should.

Sometimes I’m not being helpful — I’m being too helpful.
I’m stealing chances for them to step up.
To own it.
To learn.
To see their own strength.

And my husband – bless him – is so good at this.
He sees a mess and says, “Kids, come deal with it.”
And you know what?
They do.
Only some complaining. No internal mum monologue. Just – expectation, responsibility, done.

Meanwhile, I’m over here low-key enabling them because I like things tidy and my brain gets overwhelmed by clutter and I just want peace and order now.
(Even if it costs me later.)

What I’m Trying to Remember

• It’s okay if it takes longer.
  Teaching takes time. Letting them clean up doesn’t mean I’m lazy – it means I’m letting them grow.
• Just because I can carry it all, doesn’t mean I should.
  Even the “little” tasks add up. Energy is energy. And I burn out quietly – in tiny, invisible ways.
• Doing it for them is not the same as doing it with them.
  One teaches dependence. The other teaches partnership.
• My worth isn’t in the wiped benches or folded towels.
  My worth isn’t in doing it all.

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So I’m learning to pause.
To say: “Hey, can you come get your bowl?”
To not pick up the sock.
To invite them in, even if it’s messier or louder or a bit more work at first.

Because I’m not just raising kids.
I’m raising people.
And one day, those people will live in homes of their own – and I don’t want them wondering where the sock fairy went.

You’re not failing by letting go. You’re inviting growth.
You’re becoming.
And your kids are, too. 💛

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With love & wonder,
Britt xx